Or, The Impassionate Dreams of a Famous Rap-Star and the Woman who Beats Him for Rapping Whilst Eating Sandwiches  

Cannibal Lee



Ten or eleven years ago,
In the kingdom by the sea,
There lived a cutie that I dated a while
By the name of Annabelle Lee
And I'd take her for dates on occasion
If I could "buy one and get one free." 

We dated maybe a year or so
In the kingdom by the sea
And were happier than two doped-up drunks
Myself and Annabelle Lee
When she caught some sort of fatal disease
And died, quite suddenly. 

"Bummer," I said, and got take-out Chinese
Without my Annabelle Lee
I sat around in my underwear
And watched a little T.V.
But little did I know that a deadly space virus
Turned my love into a zombie. 

So late that night, she knocked on my door
My beautiful Annabelle Lee
"Who is it?" I cried, and reached for my gat
Which was sitting right beside me
(I had to watch out for thugs and punks
In my kingdom by the sea.) 

All I heard was a choked grunt
And a scratching that sounded eerie
"Hang on," I yelled, and holding my gun,
I opened the door carefully
Mumbling "I don't have any crack today,"
Figuring it was just some junkie
Imagine the look of surprise in my eyes
To see my Annabelle Lee. 

"Bitch, you dead!" I protested, a little aggrieved
As she murmured and fumbled at me
There was dirt in her hair and an unbalanced stare
In the eyes of my Annabelle Lee
"Fresh brains," she expelled, as I suddenly smelled
The embalmed corpse now clawing at me. 

Without a clear thought, I aimed off a shot
At the beautiful Annabelle Lee
And she jerked to the side but kept coming along
Drooling quite cannibal-ly
I tried to remember the lessons I'd learned
From Romero and Lucio Fulci 

I ran to the shed and threw open the door 
Looking around frantically
I noticed the machete, all iron and heavy
And grabbed it with fervent glee
With my machete, I was finally ready
To take on my Annabelle Lee. 

For the moon shines above and I wait for my love
My beautiful Annabelle Lee
My biceps will strain as I destroy the brain
Of the zombified Annabelle Lee
And so I shall wait for my now ex-girlfriend
And wish I was watching MacGyver again
In my apartment there by the sea
Without zombies gnawing at me.

       All text copyright Robert Chatham 2005